Lifestyle

I've been thinking about this post all morning and I'm still not sure what direction to take it in. This last week has been a roller coaster in terms of the scale, and my mind frame. My "weigh in day" on my bodybugg site is Wednesdays. Last Wednesday I was on top of the world...the scale read 156.8 that morning. HOLY. COW. Now, normally my brain would start trying to rationalize and say things like "well, it's just luck", or "the scale must be wrong". But that day, I owned it, I knew I had been on the right track from what the scale had said earlier in the week. However, every day since then, the number on the scale continued to rise. Today I'm back at 160.something (I don't remember what exactly). On one hand I'm bummed out. My mini goal on bodybugg right now is 155 by August 8th. And I so know that I could have done it, but now I'm not so sure. I'm not going to make any excuses, I just haven't been eating great. I haven't been eating horribly, but I haven't been making as good of choices as I could. But, at the same time, I'm still proud of where I am.

I realized this morning that this is my lifestyle now. It's no longer a "diet" or routine that I'm on just to lose the weight. It truly is my lifestyle now. And that's awesome. I'm used to going to the gym, I'm used to eating healthy food. Are there mornings when I wake up and don't want to go to the gym? Sure, this morning was one of them. I had a fight with myself for about 10 minutes, go back to bed or go to the gym? I compromised with myself and took the dog on a walk. And that's ok, even though this was supposed to be a weight training day and not a cardio day. Honestly, I'm sick of last months workouts and I haven't gotten my new ones for this month yet so instead of going to the gym and half assing it (which is totally what I would have done) I got myself (and the dog) moving for a half hour instead of laying in bed doing nothing. Are there days when I want to eat like shit? DUH!!!! And sometimes I allow myself to, because I know now that one meal, or even one day of eating bad isn't going to hurt as long as I get back on track!

So, no matter what the scale says on "weigh in day" tomorrow, I'm still proud of myself, and I know that eventually, the scale will say 155. If it's by August 8th that's awesome, if it's not until September 8th, that's awesome too! Because I'm doing something good for myself either way.